So i just got home from picking up the last few things from my exes place… Phew!
He wrote earlier when i wanted to come and get my things including my summer tires, so i chose to do it sooner rather than later!
I have to admit that my heart skipped a beat when i saw his massage. Dont get me wrong there’s no hard feelings and we are still on speaking terms, but still… My heart rate raised!
Wrote to my friend, lets call him ‘P’ which is also an ex of mine, but we are strickly friends today. Well wrote to him about my situation as he has always been a huge support in my anxiety battles eventhough we aren’t together. But he just has a way of making me feel safe and calming me down, even without doing anything but just being there….
He offered to go with me, which i was a bit hesitant with at first, but i could sense that I needed he calm way of being in this situation. Actually he is the one i turn too whenever i feel sad, Stress or anxious!?
And I have to admit i really do miss that feeling of being with him… I never felt uncertain, he always made me feel safe! He has truly been my rock!
When he came, i just got that feeling that… Wow.. I wish we could get back together?
Then we arrived and my exes to get my things and getting my tires changed – he offered to do it. When i saw him… I miss him! And I do still care for him, if not love him… We were only together for a short period of time, and split do to personal reasons for both of us.
Honestly, if ‘P’ haven’t been there with me, i would have broke! My mouth dried up and I could feel the tears pushing to get out, and they would if a have been on my own!
Now I know and dont want to be in a relationship right now. Im not strong enough in myself jet! I still need just to be me and only take care of and focus myself. But you cant just turn of your emotions like that! Especially since i am an extremely sensitive person overall. I need a button a ‘romantic emotional’ turn off button!!!
Well… I will now close my eyes and hope for amazing Dreams and a happier tomorrow!
Sweet Dreams to you all ❤